Breakups are not easy! Whether you were the one who ended up heartbroken, were doing the heart breaking or came to a mutual decision to breakup, it is a sad and lonely place to find yourself in. It is normal and okay to feel sad and to grieve the breakup. Give yourself the space to feel your emotions and cry if you have to, but just know that these feelings won't last forever. This is the perfect opportunity for you to turn the focus back to yourself and dedicate your time to the people you love and hobbies you enjoy. While it won't be easy, there are a few things you can focus on to help with the healing and recovering process.
Reaching out to your family and friends after a breakup is key to getting the support you need to help you through this tough time. Your friends and family are people who care about you, can offer a listening ear, and know how to make you smile. When you go through a breakup, you can often find yourself with a whole lot more time on your hands. These hours can feel long and lonely if you spend them alone, especially at first while you are getting used to the change in routine. Making plans with family and friends can give you something to look forward to in your day and can help to get you out of bed on the weekends. This is also a great time to reach out to old friends who you may have lost touch with over time. Maybe you stopped talking to them or lost the time to spend with them after you started dating your ex. Well, this is the perfect time to reach back out and to remind them that you still want them in your life. Staying busy with friends and family can be a great distraction from your breakup and helps you to feel connected to others around you.
After a breakup, it is a really great idea to block your ex on any and all social media platforms. Besides, how are you supposed to get over them if they keep popping up on your page? Blocking them is so important for maintaining your sanity, reducing anxiety levels, and moving on with your life. Just like the phrase says, "out of sight, out of mind". During this time it is also important to reduce your social media usage. Most of the pictures we see on social media are a snapshot of a moment in time where people look really happy, are looking their best, are with other people, and are having a fun time. People usually don't post pictures of the times they spend alone without makeup or pretty clothes, or the times when they are struggling. This makes it seem like everyone is happy and living really awesome lives. But this is not reality! These people also have times when they are sad or lonely. And comparing yourself to these peoples' brief snapshot in time won't make you feel any better.
Now is a great time to focus on your hobbies, pick up past hobbies, and spend time on new hobbies! When we are in a relationship, we often spend less time on our hobbies because we spend more time with our partner and on shared interests. Focusing in on things you enjoy will help distract you from the breakup and can make you feel good! Have you always wanted to join an intramural or recreational sports team but didn't have the time before? Finding a team to join will help you spend more time doing an activity you love and can be a great way to meet new people. Do you have a craft that you really enjoy? Now is the time to get back into it and find others who also enjoy your craft so that you can do it together. If no hobbies come to mind for you, this can be your time to explore your interests. Did you enjoy art class in high school? Maybe you can explore local drawing classes. Do you like playing board games? Go to a local board game café with some friends. Doing these things will help you to feel a greater sense of self in a time where you may feel unsure of yourself.
The time right after a breakup can be quite disorienting. You no longer have your normal routine with that person and you have to find new ways to fill your free time. Make sure you are taking care of yourself. And by that I don't mean taking a bubble bath and wearing a face mask (although you can certainly do that too), I mean make sure you are eating three full meals a day, staying hydrated and sticking to a sleep routine. When we don't take care of ourselves physically, it can make us feel worse emotionally. Not sleeping or skipping meals can make us tired and sluggish which makes spending time with friends and getting outside much more difficult. Sticking to eating and sleeping schedules can also help you create a new daily routine for yourself.
Breakups are hard, but you will come out on the other side. Remember that it is okay to be sad and to grieve your past relationship. Use the tools above to help you heal and find yourself again. Before you know it, you will be enjoying all of the time you get to spend with friends and family and engaging in the things that bring you joy.