The Power of Giving Up Control

Are you in control?

The Power of Giving Up Control Image The prospect of giving up control may make you uncomfortable. It may even terrify you. It is a hard practice to embody, but when you succeed, the benefits to your happiness and quality of life will be immense.

The scary truth is NO, you are not in control. None of us are.

We try our hardest to control the things around us so that we feel safe and comfortable. The fact of the matter is that most of what happens around us and to us is completely beyond our control.

Even if you create a life with a safe, reliable job and a nice home that you own, your company could go under or a natural disaster could destroy your house in an instant. I am not trying to scare you. This is just the way life is. But, it doesn't have to be scary!

In fact, there is a great feeling of freedom in acknowledging this. No matter how you shape your life, there will always be risks. So, why not live a life based solely on what your heart desires and what brings you joy?!

Embracing a lack of control

Just a few months ago I shut down my business and moved out of my San Francisco apartment to spend 6 weeks in Peru. It was terrifying stepping away from the stability that I had built for myself, but I was miserable in that comfort, and something needed to change. I spent a long time feeling this way but resisted it because I was scared of what might happen.

Eventually, my fear of living a life that didn't fulfill me took over and I surrendered to the flow of life. I have had many moments of fear since then. When they arise, I chose to acknowledge them but keep moving forward instead of running away and hiding.

Living this way has brought me the most incredible things. Amazing, loving people have entered my life and I now get to spend my time sharing the incredible tools that have helped me heal from PTSD, depression, and anxiety.

Why am I sharing this with you? Because I want you to know that a beautiful, fulfilling life is possible for you too! Once you acknowledge that the only thing that you truly have control over is your own choices and emotions, you free up a great deal of energy that you were spending trying to control things beyond your grasp.

You may not get the job you want or impress a person you like, but that can only drag you down if you let it. Believe in yourself and the path that you are taking so wholeheartedly that no one can convince you that you are wrong.

Believe that you are right. Trust yourself. It is quite a hard task. For much of our lives, we are taught to ignore our intuition and listen to the social norms. If you want to surrender control and follow your heart, you will have to let go of those beliefs that are holding you back.

I will leave you with a few steps that you can take in order to embrace surrender

1. Learn to trust yourself

To do that you must get in touch with your intuition. If you are like I was when I started this journey, you may not even know how to access your intuition. Here is a practice that has helped me access my natural instincts and put them to work.

Author Maureen J St. Germain offers a daily practice that will help you get in tune with what you really want. Throughout your day, from the moment that you wake up to the moment that you go to sleep, simply take time with every decision that you make.

Rather than asking yourself open-ended questions, only use yes/no questions. Maybe you are contemplating tea or coffee for breakfast. As yourself "do I want coffee?" Think yes and then no. Pay attention to what happens in your body. You may feel a tensing of a certain muscle or area of your body when the answer is no. It will be different for everyone.

Practice this every day for 6 weeks and by the end of it, you will have complete access to your intuition. This is crucial in being able to surrender control. Because when you are no longer relying on social norms to keep you safe, you have to be able to trust yourself to move in the right direction.

2. Surrender

The Power of Giving Up Control Image Now that you trust yourself, it is time to surrender that control. This is a practice that takes time and effort, but the benefits are boundless. Once you surrender, you will no longer spend a great deal of time and energy stressed and anxious about the things beyond your control.

Live each day focused on what you can control– your own reactions to the things happening around you. If you get upset when something doesn't pan out the way that you wanted, you are only hurting yourself.

Instead, choose to trust that when one thing doesn't work out, it is because there is something incredible and unexpected waiting to happen. Choose to stay happy and positive so that you can keep moving towards all the wonderful things ahead.

I want you to take a moment and call to mind all the most amazing things in your life. Your closest friends, partner, hobby, or anything else in your life that you value greatly.

How did they find their way into your life? Most likely, it stepped into your life unexpectedly and changed your life forever. Sometimes we don't see the things that will best serve us, because we are not looking in the right place.

Trust that if you release the need for control and just focus on living a life that is true to you, then the things you need to do so will come your way.

For the next 6 weeks, I challenge you to embody these practices and experience for yourself the magic of releasing the need for control.

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